I guess I need to talk about Kody because I want to make sure we leave today laughing, and remembering him and his beautiful smile. The best word to describe Kody is fun. He was ornery, loving, caring, a pain in the behind and fun. And he had an imagination that could change the world. Kody just loved to make people smile. That is why today we need to laugh so we can honor his life. When Kody was around 4 or 5 years old we took the family to a rodeo. The next day he went to the neighbors and was telling the neighbor lady about the rodeo. He told her "I jumped that fence and grabbed that bull by the tale and momma was hollering at me Kody Dean you be careful" and he had the neighbor convinced the story was true.
When I was little I named those radio towers like is north of Sac and Fox "snake catchers". I use to drive my family nuts when we would go that way telling them how they worked. I was so fascinated with them. When Nadia, our foreign exchange student from Switzerland, lived with us I told her they were snake catchers and of course she didn't understand. I just couldn't believe it when Kody proceeded to tell her about how the snake catchers worked. And even tho I had never told them how they worked he told her the exact same story I use to drive my siblings crazy with. So now Gary and Karen, you see, I was right! Two great minds coming up with the same conclusion without consulting has to be right. And the third great mind continues to work in Kodys nephew Keegan. That little guy, my sugar britches, has the same beautiful, crazy imagination Kody had. Kody was definitely a story teller, and he LOVED to talk. He really enjoyed spending time with Joel, Russel Reichart, Gale Haag and many others because they were all so ornery. He loved to tease me about my age. He would ask me "Mom, what was it like to write with a number 2 chisel?"
And Kody loved to wrestle. He was always wrestling with someone. He was strong as steel. One day he was coming down the hallway at our house and I hid behind our refrigerator to scare him when he got to me. Of course it didn’t scare him but he sure threw me for a loop. He TACKLED me! We rolled around on the floor wrestling and laughing so hard we had to stop so we could breathe. He loved his strength. He got that from Ron and he just loved being like his dad. His idle was his dad and he worked all the time to copy him. He was a terrific father. My 3 guys were best friends. He taught them how to drive (and sometimes we wondered about that), hunt, fish, work on cars, ride motorcycles, life lessons, etc. Kody told many how much his dad taught him. He was so proud of him.
One time when he was little he got in trouble (actually a lot of times but I am only talking about this one time). Well I told him he was going to get one swat on the bottom and made sure he knew why before I did it. He just said “ok, but I’m not going to cry. I gave him the one swat and he stood up and said see, I didn’t cry. So he got another swat. That time he stood up and said slightly tearful “see, I still didn’t cry”. The third swat he cried. Oh he had a stubborn streak!
His grandpa Kautz was a cousin to Buffalo Bill Cody and because Elmer was so proud of that fact that is why Kody got his name. Kody was proud of it too. He would tell people in that adorable baby voice all babies have when little saying I’m Buffalo Bill Tody Dean Tautz. And he was all cowboy. He would jump on the ottoman and holler “Oh No! there’s another bull tattle toming!” To hear it it might not be so funny but to have seen it I laughed until I cried.
He loved to make people laugh. He was always cheering people up with his smile and sense of humor. But he had a special thing he used on his momma. I love Kodys feet. We have always called them flintstone feet. His legs were like muscle bound stove pipes that went straight down then made an L into his feet. He didn’t have ankles, he had kankles. His “feet” were as long as they were tall as they were wide. He wore an 11 1/2 four E size and when he got cowboy boots he would have to cut the tops because the tops were too tight for his calves.
Anyway he knew how happy his feet would make me and when he was little if I was upset over something he would come up to me trying to cheer me up by saying “momma, do you want to see my feet?” A while back we were talking about that and then for whatever reason a few days later I was tearful over something and he came up to me and said “momma, do you want to see my feet?” And I just roared with laughter. And I will still get to see those feet because his nephew Gaje has the same feet and legs. Kody just couldn’t keep his hands off of Gaje who is 11 months old, because he called him “Mini Me”. They are so much alike. Kody told one of his friends he wanted to get a car and cut the floor board out so he could pedal like Fred Flintstone.
Age never mattered to Kody. Young or old, big or little. He loved all. But I tell you what -- you always got his respect until you disrespected him. Then he would treat you just like he was being treated. And that was to all -- young or old, big or small. His thoughts were “everyone deserves respect until they were disrespectful, then it changed to you don’t just get respect for whatever reason, you earn it.”
He would talk to me for hours. Sometimes telling me a lot of things I didn’t want to hear or know. And I would tell him, Kody, you aren’t suppose to tell me those things I am your mother. And he would just say so ornery like, “But mom, I have to tell someone!”. Kody and Jeff Brown were the kings of jokers. I think they got material from each other. Jeff took care of Kody after his accident a year ago when we were at work and he was not only a blessing to us but to Kody also. Kody just loved spending time with him because they could always laugh together. But then, Kody usually brought laughter in to most circles.
If you crossed his path crooked look out. Or worse yet, tried to pick on the underdog. Kody was defender of the underdog. He took those with no friends under his wing. He befriended and protected. He loved and made them feel special. Our little niece Gwen has downs syndrome and Kody loved her so much. That little girl knows what is going on and it is the most touching thing I have witnessed. The pain in her eyes last night was almost more then I could bear. But that pain was there because she remembers him with love. She knows he was good to her. I always told the kids to follow the Golden Rule. To stop and put theirself in that persons place. And Kody did. I am so proud of him. I am so proud of all of our children. They are beautiful, inside and out.
When he would do something wrong Kolt and Lib (stands for our little Indian boy as he always said) would think they would have something to blackmail him with and when Kody found out they were trying to do that he would just come tell us so he didn’t have to deal with the blackmail. The boys would go to the timber and take their little crossbows. One time they were sitting in trees and deer were down below them and they shot the deer with their cross bows. Of course they didn’t penetrate the deer but never the less, they tried.
He loved to sing and he could just make the house roar with his songs. He had a twange in his voice when he would sing the funny songs he sang and could make up words as he went. He loved hunting and fishing, music, his motorcycle and dodge dart, Mopars and muscle cars
Heidi would get so frustrated with him. They would be going to school and he would holler out Deer! She would instinctively slam on the brakes thinking one was jumping out in front of them and it would be way off down in the timber so far she couldn’t hardly see it. Both boys have an eagle eye when it comes to spotting game. Kody was so hard to wake up and when Heidi would get them up for school he would be sitting on the couch with his socks in his hands. She would holler at him, Kody, come on! His head was hanging and he was half asleep and he would raise his head, put a growl on his face and growl out “I AM!” then he would slowly put on one sock and hang his head back down and sit again. She had to go through that with each piece of clothing every single morning.
The kids fought like night and day but I remember on our 25th wedding anniversary they had a picnic for us at tuttle creek park in Manhattan and the four of the went off and all played on the monkey bars just completely loving and enjoying being with each other. They are all best friends.
And he was a protector. One night at the Holton Fair Kolt, Justin Keithline and Kody were walking along when Kody saw his young cousin Autumn walking along with a couple of friends and Kody felt like she shouldn’t be with the one boy that was there. He immediately addressed it too. Kody holler over at them and the other boy acted like he was going to confront Kody. Justin, in his easy calm matter of fact manner said, “Man that is one dumb kid”. When we heard the story we just roared! If Kody was in protect mode no one could stop him.
Justin and Kody were riding motorcycles one time in Falls City and not thinking Nebraska had a helmet law they went without helmets. At one point Justin blew a red light not realizing it was there. Kody knew it was there, looked for traffic and since none was coming he just went ahead and blew thru the red light too. Then he caught up with Justin and told him he had missed the red light. A short time later he was stopped by the cop because he didn’t have a helmet. Justin went ahead and went around the corner and parked and walked back to Kody and the cop was talking about the helmets. Kody told him “we’re fresh out of a few of them and said if you won’t give us a ticket consider us going right straight out of here and back to Kansas”. They got out of the ticket and headed south.
Sunday night when I came home from work Kody and Bo met me at my car. I got out and he gave me a hug and said hi momma then he came around and sat in the passenger and just sat and talked. Bo jumped in the back and said lets go for a drive. Well we didn't but the next thing I knew we were standing on the steps. Kody and I were on the step and Bo was on the ground. Kody wrapped his arms around both of us and picked us both up at the same time hollering "group hug"! All 3 of us proclaiming our love. What a treasured memory I will have forever.
Kody has touched may lives. As the saying goes it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. And that is so true. To have not had Kody in our life would have been a far greater tragedy. But the pain from knowing I have to wait to see him again is beyond description. Many of you parents that has lost a child know what I mean. But I have so many blessings to be thankful for. The last words Ron and I said to our son was “I love you” and the last ones we heard from him were the same. He would call his siblings and talk to them and they also got to hear the same words. As we look back over the past few weeks I can see God at work preparing the path so we could have the last memories we have. Kody never left without saying “I love you, and it was usually always 3 times”. A year ago there was a drug representative that came to the office and we were talking about our sons. He looked deep within me and told me “your son is being led astray by out side forces but God wants you to know your love and prayers will bring him back. Kody loves you and your husband so much.” I asked him if that was a word of knowledge from the Lord and he said yes. A couple of weeks after that I was talking with him again and he told me “You have something coming that will be the hardest thing you will ever deal with and God is going to use that to strengthen you emotionally and spiritually.” I laughed and told him to please tell God I am tired and really feel I’ve dealt with enough. I never dreamed it would be something like this but when Ron and I were on our way to KU last Monday this came back to my mind. On Saturday I called that drug rep, I still had his card (and the amazing thing is is I have always known where it was.) He said “Connie, how are you? I have been thinking about you. I found your phone number a couple of days ago and you have been on my mind and in my prayers ever since. I asked him when and what time he found it. It was Thursday morning. The day our cherished son left us. God is so good! Kody was hurt in an accident last May 28th, 2006. He suffered immensely since then. He had a spiral fracture of the distal humerus, his right arm was paralyzed, his back was broke in 7 places and he lost 6 inches in height, and suffered a brain injury. The day he was told he had absolutely no nerve function in his arm he was touched by an angel in Topeka Walmart and that night he was able to move some of his fingers for the first time since the accident. He was embarrassed because people would ask him what he was doing and he would have to say nothing. He wanted to get a job but I would remind him the doctors told him he just couldn’t yet. He was always in pain, some physical but much mental and emotional. But now he is 6’ 2” again, all of his pain is gone and he is happy.
We prayed for a miracle and I believe we got it. The Bible says By His stripes we are healed. There is no doubt that Gods word is true. But it also says we have freedom of choice. I absolutely know because of those words Kody was healed. And it could have been here or in heaven, where ever Kody chose. I believe he saw the other side and it was so perfect and beautiful and peaceful that he chose his healing to be there.
I know I told many of you last night the story of Kodys last minutes but for those of you who didn’t hear it I have to close with it. Kody was born at 1025 am so that is the time we chose to remove the respirator. Kody was pronounced at 1030 am. At 1025 am Thursday morning on June 28, 2007 in Kansas City it started snowing, and it snowed until 1030 am. 5 minutes! There is no doubt it was angels wings in my mind. (And I know God didn’t send Andrew off of Touched by an Angel because Kody would of wanted the girls.)
My sister Karen had a dream the other night, the only night this week she has been able to sleep. And Kody said “Aunt Karen” and of course Karen responded. He told her “Great Grandpa Behrnes is a riot! And I met Uncle Alvin, and he is big. And he thinks he’s strong, but I’m stronger!” And I can so hear Kody saying that. And the descriptions he gave are so true. He is with many loved ones on both sides up there now and I know I will see him again and I vow to work everyday I have left to love and forgive as our son would have wanted. To those that I have wronged I ask your forgiveness now and pray that everyone take a look within themselves and find what God wants for you. Don’t loose to gain.
I do apologize for this being so long but I had to say these words. And I wanted you all to hear them. It was hard to stop because there is a lifetime to tell about. But I will always cherish the memories in that short 20 years 9 months 20 days and 5 minutes. There is just not enough ways or words to express how much everyone has done for our family and how grateful we are.
And one last thing. If you see anyone out “burning off their tires” today please understand. At one point in time Kolt and Kody were talking and they made a pact with each other if something like this would ever happen they promised each other the biggest, smokiest burn out you ever saw so if that happens realize our son is getting the promise his brother gave him.
I love you Kody, Dad and I both do. And we are so proud of you and proud we can call you our son. I will work the rest of my life to be worthy of having you as our son. We learned so much from you.
My forever son, love momma